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Mr. Bling Bling

by Guadalajara Joe!

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1.
Rump Quake (free) 02:50
well it's a 6.9 on the richter scale bust those funky moves and you'll never fail you're lookin so fine baby be mine your fanny in my face definition of a great time now we're doing the lambada i attack your booty like the spanish armada your butt is nonstop jiggles and we both start to giggle as you tickle my pickle and u can feel it gettin bigger i suck your ear lobe as you pull my trigger people say get a room then we zoom zoom, baby and a boom boom boom! rump quake shake n bake makin good love is a give n take you don't think so yo conozco if you wanna get noticed shake yer muffin on the dance floor (repeat) now i wanna feel yer after shocks i'm a ill pervert thinkin' about yer crotch i was born with a sick mind lemme sniff that box and scratch your behind i wanna make you mine funky fresh sexy breath let's share some wine feelin oh so groovy no clothes on makin movies in the hot tub private parts up to the jets when we knockin boots we both come correct gettin a lil too loud the neighbor at the fence yells cut it out! we tell him stfu cuz we're rump quakin, baby then makin a love typhoon rump quake shake n bake makin good love is a give n take you don't think so yo conozco if you wanna get noticed shake yer muffin on the dance floor (repeat)
2.
Physical Party (free) 03:41
oh you're such a hottie oh i want your body how about we get together and have a physical party oh yeah it's gonna feel so good good god i'm gonna pop some wood how about we explode together like i know that we should i'm talkin about big butts pretty smiles sexy moves let's hang for a while and do the things that feel correct like- sweet sweat in a private jet chocolate sauce pours down your bra i lick it clean cuz that's the law first class to cloud 9 comfy window seat you're so darn fine all our clothes get ripped off i rub your thighs they are ohhhhh so soft oh you're such a hottie oh i want your body how about we get together and have a physical party oh yeah it's gonna feel so good good god i'm gonna pop some wood how about we explode together like i know that we should under the blankets is where we lay and for a while that's where we'll stay you feel me and i feel you back jager shots off each other's butt cracks smokin hash with tango and cash takin dirty pics without the flash i pour milk all over your boobs as you shower me with astro lube great times that we'll never forget it's like bon jovi's album, "slippery when wet" oh you're such a hottie oh i want your body how about we get together and have a physical party oh yeah it's gonna feel so good good god i'm gonna pop some wood how about we explode together like i know that we should
3.
Horny as Hell (free) 04:06
Hey guess what….I’m HORNY AS HELL! Been that way since I was around 12 When my pituitary gland kicked in And ever since then, that’s how it’s been Hey sexy girl with the designer perfume I wanna smell your flower cuz you’re in full bloom So let’s talk about the birds and the bees You got one of those and I got one of these And when mine’s hard it goes inside of yours And when we get it goin’ we’ll have some sweaty pours Oh, you know you’re making me so horny And I’m sorry if you think my lyrics are kinda corny But I got intercourse on my mind thinking about humping you all the time Everything about you is oh so fine So come over here, and I'll letcha slap my behind! Hey guess what….I’m HORNY AS HELL! Been that way since I was around 12 When my pituitary gland kicked in And ever since then, that’s how it’s been Guadalajara Joe- John Holmes look-a-like I ride my bike naked drinkin' punch that’s spiked I think you need to be pleased asap So come over here and let me smack YOUR booty You’re such a cutie No I’m not talkin’ bout tofutti Cuz if I wanted one of those I’d go to trader joe’s And put my mac down on the milfs that are shoppin’ But what I really want is to get your party poppin’ It’s off the hook so take a look When we get together passion’s really gonna cook Hey guess what?….I’m HORNY AS HELL! Been that way since I was around 12 When my pituitary gland kicked in And ever since then, that’s how it’s been Uh oh, looks like it’s Verse 3, We got no time for tai chi Or tai bo, let’s just do it on the flo- Or in a bed instead that’s what I said Or on the roof I’ll bring the pillows and the blanket Show me that butt and you know I’m gonna spank it All night long til the sun comes up Or until it sets- I don’t give a flying saucer You a sexy double crosser You a nasty salad tosser I love your posture Hey guess what?….I’m HORNY AS HELL! Been that way since I was around 12 When my pituitary gland kicked in And ever since then, that’s how it’s been
4.
Mr. Bling Bling (free) 03:54
mr bling bling is a jewelry king selling grills, gold chains, and diamond rings he has flings with honey's from beijing he's on g-strings like static cling and it ain't no thing but a chicken wing like a bee he will sting you in the spring push you off of a swing put you into a sling tie you up with shoe strings then feed you to yao ming in san francisco there's this jewelry store just off of geary and fillmore mr. bling bling that what it's called and whenever i pass by i yell "check it out y'all" read the review on yelp you want big pimpin, mr. bling bling can help get a grill to give the females thrills and once you leave this place you got hot booties in your face free piece of custard pie healthy jugs bouncing right in front of your eyes you enter the boom boom room and get pulled into the ladies room and get consumed everyone gets so excited and you must admit that you too are delighted clothing flies off into the air all because of that BLING, I declare mr bling bling is a jewelry king selling grills, gold chains, and diamond rings he has flings with honey's from beijing he's on g-strings like static cling and it ain't no thing but a chicken wing like a bee he will sting you in the spring push you off of a swing put you into a sling tie you up with shoe strings then feed you to yao ming now what else would you like to hear? that mr. bling bling's is frequented by richard gere? i thought that dude only shopped at ross getting tapered khaki cargo shants made by hugo boss and now it's time for shots of popv, cuervo, and sake that's hot i'm gonna give it all i got i'm a wishful thinker an ambitious drinker hot damn this beat's so tight i makes breezies' butts bounce with all of their might let's have some fun tonite you feed me boob sandwich i give you orgasmic delight you wanna play light brite? well if we do it in our birthday suits.... it'll be outta sight and yo i have a hunch....... that sonja and miguel are eating lunch. mr bling bling is a jewelry king selling grills, gold chains, and diamond rings he has flings with honey's from beijing he's on g-strings like static cling and it ain't no thing but a chicken wing like a bee he will sting you in the spring push you off of a swing put you into a sling tie you up with shoe strings then feed you to yao ming
5.
whutchu want? the whole enchilada? who do you think you are? Erik Estrada?
6.
Shetland Ass (free) 03:43
i’m from hayward hayward to your mom i’m guadalajara joe and my songs are da bomb it’s a diggity wiggity hayyy yo, i pump my private parts every single day! i snort poprocks in style in the carls jr. drive thru i get buck wild with horny honeys that do it like rabbits they want big bacon burger yeah right - i feed them cabbage and i’m a savage just like my buddy dennis and i always hit homeruns whenever i play tennis hot damn, mathew mark and john i read the bible when i’m high on crystal meth flan flim flam fatty boo blatty when i worked as a valet i dented a brand new caddy i ain’t perfect that’s for sure but i try to be nice even when the visions blurred ya heaaarrd i get on with my shetland ass i shoot stress into space and just have a blast i move my body to the beat and when fine ladies get naked i think it’s rather neat i’m high as a duck that ain’t got wings hockey puck to the face that’s gonna sting fly girl i’ll rock your world beats from garagaeband necklace of pearls on your chest i’m the best cuz i’ll cheer your booty up when you get depressed so let’s get undressed in my nest the only thing we’re wearing are orange vests and whipped cream in our hair i ran outta mousse and i don’t care you want dinner ‘i make you pb & j need beauty products my aunt sells mary kay you want excitement we can role in the hay ride me sexy cowgirl like it’s your birthday! am i fun? i’m an amusement park blow out my candle let’s play in the dark you’ll be thinkin about me all the time i’m guadalajara joe my favorite number’s 69 get on with your shetland ass shoot your stress into space and just have a blast I move my body to the beat and fine ladies get naked i think it's rather neat
7.
Rich White Bitch Rap (free) 01:14
i gotta house on the beach and a house in the hills don't be jealous cuz it's muthafukkin ill i drive back and forth in my black dodge magnum you like all this bling well guess what? you can't have 'em everything i have surely wasn't free everything i have daddy bought for me travelling in style really is a must cuz first class tickets are included in my trust fund where you goin? there ain't no plus one telling all the world and everyone that a ritch white bitch ain't nothin to fuck wit!
8.
Speedo (free) 00:32
speedo
9.
Movin' n' Groovin' (free) 03:15
shake that booty all around have some fun no need to frown take a deep breath you're alive give your friend a big high five move your feet like kevin bacon or willard from footloose celebration chasing dreams is sweeping the nation fiesta forever life's a vacation with ups and downs but now we're up i drink tequila outta coffee cups with nilla wafers in my mouth rump quakin i can't do without movin and groovin no need to be provin anything to anybody simulatneously nice and naughty eat a snack i got your back i heard funky moves prevent heart attacks so do vegetables and fruits especially while wearing cowboy boots i like to go down slip n slides with girls in bikinis what a ride layin out under the sun you know this party's just begun and when it ends we'll do it again and it ain't over yet my friend so bob your brain from left to right let your eyebrows have fun tonite now find the one you like and squeeze their butt have a good time you know what's upppppp! movin and groovin no need to be provin anything to anybody simulatneously nice and naughty
10.
Fountain of Youth (free) 04:08
lyrics knock knock who's there can i come in side of you how'have you been it's been a long while and i've missed your smile and all those times that we got buckwild you look so fine will you be mine not everyday but just part time it's an easy duty you're such a cutie just remove all your clothes and jiggle your booty in my face pick up the pace suck on my honey enjoy the taste it feels so right you feel so tight but you know i can't see you every night i got things to do and places to be but for the time being you are my baby so close your eyes and enjoy the ride as i fill you up with a shot of some pride oh shucks you're so wet and there's no sweat yet upcoming orgasms that you'll never forget and when we're all done we'll feel tingly and numb i got cigarettes and you can bum one soooo > just light my flame > it's a simple little game > it's so fun to play > no need to feel shame > relationships are lame > yeah, that's the truth screw growin old together drink my fountain of youth > > nothing lasts forever > that is a fact > but whipped cream on your body > is a wonderful snack > i wanna lick you > up and down > left and right > all around > the world - > sure ain't perfect > but intercourse rules everytime i check > so let's act like like rabbits > and make it a habit > show me that wound > you know i’ll stab it > i loan you my bone > gonna make you moan > then you cry out my name > when you're all alone > but don't contact me > when we're apart > it's a part time thing > eclipse of the heart > emotions > they belong in the ocean as my tide rises i rub you with lotion i know you want me i want you to sometimes when u see me we’ll close the blinds in a trashy motel oh what the hell i’ll lie and say i love you if your vadge don’t smell just light my flame > it's a simple little game > it's so fun to play > no need to feel shame > relationships get lame > yeah, that's the truth screw growin old together drink my fountain of youth
11.
Time To Get Freaky (free) 03:47
Thyme2getphreaky Thyme2getphreaky yeah, that’s right it don’t matter if it’s day or night just get real close to the one you like freak ‘em up n’ down phyical delight repeat funky beats tasty treats sounds for your mind that makes you freak body friction is my addiction pleasure overload that’s my prediction so don’t stop with your sexy ass moves you’re turning me on with all your fine grooves and i love when you flaunt want you got and when you take it off i always approve Thyme2getphreaky yeah, that’s right it don’t matter if it’s day or night just get real close to the one you like freak ‘em up n’ down phyical delight repeat your body language is oh so clear and you shake it all around you make me wanna stand up and cheer and i love the way you move your rear gonna take your picture like a star at a movie premiere and i can’t stop checkin’ you out you got it goin’ on without a doubt when you’re in freak mode you go all out gonna do that hoky poky as you shake it all about oh, how i’m gettin’ excited i’m having a physical party and you’re the only one invited and i can’t wait to get united no need to start a fire cuz it’s already ignited Thyme2getphreaky yeah, that’s right it don’t matter if it’s day or night just get real close to the one you like freak ‘em up n’ down phyical delight repeat so, uh hay what else do i need to say? i lwanna taste your fruity pebbles in a major way ohhh baby and i love it when you’re freaking me you’re making me so hot you see the fruit is so ripe on your tree can’t wait for you to set me free right now anything you want to do i’lll allow all those positions just make me go wow and when you’re all done could you maybe take a bow? Thyme2getphreaky yeah, that’s right it don’t matter if it’s day or night just get real close to the one you like freak ‘em up n’ down phyical delight repeat
12.
Toyotally Popular (free) 04:02
i'm toyotally popular hecka mainstream sometimes i rock maker's other times jim beam i solve problems with unexplainable answers and my goal in life is to be a soul train dancer got my balls botoxed at the mall got a free pair of mesh pants with the deal the girls screamed yes yes y’all when i go camping it’s in tents i got smores so big my landlord pays me the rent and i like to wear bear suits around the fire fine ladies snuggle up to me when i’m watching knightrider my favorite beer is tecate my favorite thing to do besides sleep in is to party! hot naked ladies excite me i like to rub oils and lotions all over their bodies! we discuss shallow topics like the weather i make them all wet then we build hot sex together! i’m toyotally popular hecka mainstream a lotta times i rock maker’s other times jim beam i got unsolvable problems and unexplainable answers and before i die i wanna be a soul train dancer tequila and cranberry juice is rather tasty after guzzlin’ a few of those i’m rather wasted then slurred words are the norm when i’m in that state it allows all the women to seduce my big worm pleasure principal is the key actually i’m not exactly sure what that means it was janet jackson’s hit song from ‘87 if i drove a camero the gas pedal i’d be revin’ peelin’ out in the target parking lot showin off my engine and my tatoo of braveheart just kidding i ain’t got no tatoo’s but i’m gonna get a yinyang one on my ankle with a dolphin going through a hoop
13.
Tasty Girl (free) 03:44
ohhhhh you're such a tasty girl i think i wanna rock your world so why don'y u cum fly with me temporary ecstacy
14.
The Blumpy Song (free) 04:31
give me that blumpyyyyyy when i'm sittin down bathroom door is closed don'tchew plug your nose make me scream and shout just give that blumpyyyyyy, baby open your mouth when i'm goin # 2 you know what to do make gene simmons proud blumpies in the morning blumpies at night blumpies in the afternoon they feel so right blumpies in the outhouse or the rv front lawn blumpies for the neighbors to see blumpies at the party right in front of our friends blumpies in your car ok, i'll wear depends blumpies at the auction when i'm placin' bids blumpies in the classroom while i'm teachin' the kids blumpies in church while prayin to god blumpies at the pet store in front of some dogs blumpies at the dentist when my teeth are getting cleaned or while i'm brewin coffeee better than caffeine you know what i mean? time for the chorus chuck norris just give that blumpyyyyyy when i'm sittin down bathroom door is closed don'tchew plug your nose make me scream and shout give that blumpyyyyyy, baby open your mouth when i'm goin # 2 you know what to do make gene simmons proud blumpies in space on the way to uranus and giving blumpies just might make you famous i got a blumpy from this sexy white russian when she was done we found the toilet wasn't flushin' so what in the world did we do she took me to the river blumpy in her canoe she lost her shoes i lost one aqausock we never found her shoes but my aquasock was floating by the dock of the bay adjacent to a nice cafe so i screamed hurray then ate chili at the all you can eat buffet and got another nice blumpy while we rode away on a rented segway it was terrific a day i must say just give that blumpyyyyyy when i'm sittin down bathroom door is closed don'tchew plug your nose make me scream and shout give that blumpyyyyyy, baby open your mouth when i'm goin # 2 you know what to do make gene simmons proud

about

another bunch of homemade Guadalajara Joe songs for you to bump. featuring Rich White Bitch!

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released September 9, 2009

Guadalajara Joe, Rich White Bitch, the Yamaha djx 1, a Radio Shack mic, and Garageband

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Guadalajara Joe California

Songwriter/Dancer

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