Swipe Left Swipe Right
That’s pretty much all I’m doin’ tonight
Dammit this Plannedemic
Cuz these days nobody has a life

Swipe Left Swipe Right
That’s all we’re allowed to do tonight
Dammit this SCAMdemic
Cuz these days nobody has a life

Gotta charge my dumbphone cuz it’s almost dead
Trying to meet women while laying in bed
Oh boy! It’s a match
She’s almost 50 and the perfect catch!
She got half his money recently divorced
I’m deep sea fishing and staying on course
She just messaged me we go back and forth
Then unmatched me, I’m not sure what for!

Swipe Left Swipe Right
That’s pretty much all I’m doin’ tonight
Dammit this Plannedemic
Cuz these days nobody has a life

Swipe Left Swipe Right
That’s all we’re allowed to do tonight
Dammit this SCAMdemic
Cuz these days nobody has a life

I wanna binge that booty on Hinge
Then I signed up with Hilly until it got too silly
P.O.F. and Tinder I got banned
Those sites didn’t turn out as planned
So I paid for Zoosk so I wouldn’t get the boot
Then I stumbled upon Bumble cuz I like to rumble
And I matched with your Mom on Match.com
Got a hand job under the table
On Coffee Meets Bagel!

Swipe Left Swipe Right
That’s pretty much all I’m doin’ tonight
Dammit this Plannedemic
Cuz these days nobody has a life

Swipe Left Swipe Right
That’s all we’re allowed to do tonight
Dammit this SCAMdemic
Cuz these days nobody has a life